Is it just me or is choosing wedding attendants slightly cruel?

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For me, choosing the woman that would stand up with me was easy. I have one really good female friend that I knew would be able to come. Done. Most of my friends are guys. A lot of my gal pals are in some way related to my ex-husband. I agreed that, to avoid awkwardness, I wouldn't invite anyone in my ex's family. 

My husband, did not have such an easy task to contend with. People love him. He has a plethora of close friends. Initially, the choice was easy. His best friend since college, and the man whose wedding brought us together, declined. That guy is my brother. He hadn't quite wrapped his head around the situation. I completely understand. Despite wishing my husband could have his best friend standing next to him on  his wedding day, I understand why my brother wasn't up to the task. 

Not having my brother put my husband in a terrible spot. He has three brothers and more close friends than we could fit in our wedding space. He has been in several weddings. Josh was also opposed to making anyone spend money on his wedding. He requested no gifts and didn't want anyone to have to spend money on a tux, especially since many of our guests traveled quite a long way to share our day.

We ended up with Josh's college roommate standing up with us. One good friend, of Josh and my brother, signed our marriage license. Another, along with his new wife (Josh had been in their wedding a couple weeks earlier) cut the cake. Another college friend, along with his wife (also a close college friend) took our photos.

How does a person, like Josh, make a decision like this? How do you rank your friends? I was supposed to be a maid of honor once. I ended up not even being invited to the wedding. I understand what happened, but it still hurt. How do you tell someone that they aren't as important as someone else? I guess it is a good way to let people know who you see as your "best" friend. It just sucks for the rest of us who didn't realize that.
I am one of the lucky ones. I didn't have to think too hard. For the rest of you: good luck! I hope you don't offend the crazy one. 


Thanks for reading!

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